Hi folks. Okaaay, I know I’ve been on a long blogging hiatus the past year mainly because of my lack of inspiration and writing slump but I promise to do better and commit myself to a steady writing pace. I know, I know. I say this a lot but never really follow through, so I’m thinking of doing something to spice my motivation up but I’m still brainstorming of possible ways to encourage my lazy ass so I’ll leave this one open.
So, I have a lot of things I want to say right now but I can’t find the right words to say. My ‘social skills’ have definitely gone rusty in the days I was lazing off and binge-watching so I apologize if I sound strange and unnatural. Anyway, a lot of things happened to me lately, as in. So many firsts, and I don’t even know what to begin to cover. I have like, fifteen drafts waiting to be written, all documenting my adventures but I guess I’ll keep them in the closet for a little longer because I am itching to get my fingers to work on what happened yesterday.
DID YOU ALL KNOW?
November 30, 2017. THE Kim Jaejoong held his first fan meeting event in the Philippines after 11 years of waiting from us, Cassiopeias, Jae-stans and JYJ fans! I’m not sure how many of you are care about him or if you were even aware of my indiscreet love for Dong Bang Shin Ki and JYJ but boy, they are my life and this is the biggest news of my life! When it was first announced a month back that he was coming over to the Philippines for his Asia tour, I was ecstatic. We’ve waited for so so so long that it hurt. Imagine, the last time he was here was like a decade ago, and I’ve been praying to see him since I became a fan way back 2008. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs within the fandom, so many scandals and internal fan wars, and there were definitely a lot of heartbreaks and victories in between too so no news could ever be better than this.
As in, grabe. Kim Jaejoong. Here. In the Philippines!
I could just die from happiness.
But, it was short-lived because as soon as the schedule of the event came out, I died. I was devastated. For Pete’s sake, how could they’ve given us just a month’s notice to frigging prepare for the ticket when it was damn expensive? I mean, it’s double the price of his other fan meetings. My heart broke into million pieces because I knew. Hindi ko makikita si Jaejoong.
I was totally wrecked. Goodbye, my one in a life time chance.
November 29, I’ve already become resigned to the idea that I would simply be a #TeamBahay but you know what? God is really good all the time. At around ten PM, just before I hit the sheets, I received a message from a classmate ( I hadn’t talked to for a very long time) asking me if I wanted to go. He could secure me a ticket daw. I was like, for real? I was certainly elated but I didn’t let myself hope for that much because he wasn’t sure yet. Masakit umasa, mga bes. So that night, I prayed. Bahala na si God. If I’m meant to see Jaejoong, I will.
Then came the next day. D-DAY. I couldn’t sleep properly so I woke up around eight AM. I was in a depressed mood, just browsing through my twitter when this funny relevant photo showed up. If I retweeted it, I’ll get my desired tickets, it said. It was so damn funny so I tried it just for the heck of it but guess what? Fate really has a way of playing with people kasi as soon as I retweeted, ate Joy messaged me! She’s willing to sell her ticket for a much lower price. Affordable at that, too.
I think that was all the sign I needed from God so I didn’t waste time and immediately contacted my college friends. Before I knew it, I was on my way there. Nevermind the fact that I was broke.
Best decision of my life.
I met Cheska and Chii at iHop. I was introduced to some other Cassie friends but even though I was happy to see them, I was anxious. What if things went wrong? What if I can’t get my ticket? Enter Ate France. Miracle talaga because she saw her other friend there who, by the way, had spare tickets to give courtesy of PCKI. Ganon ganon lang, God gave His ultimate gift to me. I got my ticket, with extra pa, to share with #Natsuriayuko, my twin buddy who also liked Jaejoong
Grabe ‘yung feels! We toured around Gateway some more to get some freebies from the fanclubs (Thanks, JJYJ Lovers & JYJ PH) and then, it was time. The. Moment. Had. Arrived. I felt so anxious, giddy and teary-eyed then, because damn, I waited for this for a very long time. I really thought I’d never see him in this lifetime so when I sat there with other fans, waiting for Jaejoong to show up, I knew this has gotta be the miracle brought about by our faith. It was unfathomable, profound and absolutely exhilarating.
Credits to Chii for these wonderful close-up shots.
When Jaejoong entered, he was teary-eyed. If it’s because of happiness of seeing us or disappointment that not all of us could attend the fan meeting, I didn’t know but God, my smile was wide enough to split my entire face. THE FEELINGS WERE LEGIT BURNING IN MY CHEST. I CANNOT.
The Emcee, Miss Kring, was a fan of Jaejoong too and she was amazing. The segment, though short, was splendid too. There was cultural immersion. Jaejoong ate some famous Filipino food and even drank two cups of beer. Tagay, oppa!
Those were fun and all until he started his speech.
Jaejoong was in tears. He kept on saying it’s been a long while, that he was grateful, that he didn’t imagine the number of people that would show up. He said it over and over and I felt like bursting as well because I felt like we would’ve done better if we were given a longer time to prepare for him.
When he asked us over over if we would call him again, if we would make him come again, I lost it. He said he wanted to go back. That he was grateful and happy to be here. During encore, he said he was afraid we wouldn’t call him back and just go home. We screamed our lungs out but my voice was failing by then. I hope he’d heard us properly.
I don’t know why he said the things he said. Jaejoong definitely needs to know how much we love him, that we would always want him, because I feel like he’s thinking his time has already passed, that’s why he’s cherishing what fans he has left. But that’s not the case, at all. We’re an old fandom but we’re still growing. We’re not dying out. We’re burning as bright as ever, and God do I hope our feelings can reach him.
During concert time, we were humming along but the audience was quiet out of respect. We wanted to savor his voice and we did. I couldn’t even bring out my camera to film him. I simply enjoyed the moment and waved my red penlight. He sang my favorite songs. I was so happy I got to hear Good Morning Night and Runaway live. It was a beautiful, inexplicable experience and Jaejoong, as always, didn’t disappoint. His voice was divine. He is truly a legend of Kpop. Thank you for coming to see us, Kim Jaejoong.
I’ll never forget this experience. Ten years from now, when we’d look back and reminisce the first time one of them had been here, I am happy to say I was there. I was a part of it. I will always be. Thank you so much to the people who allowed me to be there. I’ll never stop thanking y’all for the happiest moment of my Cassiopeia life. Next time, it won’t be just this.
Next time, we will give him a stronger, brighter red ocean. Until then, the wait starts again.
Always Keep The Faith.